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<title>Flirting 101 with Professor Claire Novak by cowboydeanwinchester</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825610">Flirting 101 with Professor Claire Novak</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboydeanwinchester/pseuds/cowboydeanwinchester'>cowboydeanwinchester</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Books: Supernatural Series - Carver Edlund, Claire gets diagnosed with Deankinnie, M/M, Mutual Pining, based on my tumblr post, oblivious idiots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:27:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,349</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825610</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboydeanwinchester/pseuds/cowboydeanwinchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire finds the Supernatural novels and decides to teach Cas about Dean's flirting.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Based on my tumblr post: "ok claire reading the supernatural books to castiel going 'and here, see, this was another example of dean flirting with you' and cas is like taking notes"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel &amp; Claire Novak, Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1025</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Flirting 101 with Professor Claire Novak</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Anyway.</p><p>Beta'd and supported by my wife, @maxguevra</p><p>&lt;3333</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Claire told just anybody what she was currently up to, they would probably call her insane. Or say she was lying. Which… Fair. Honestly she had lost track of the amount of times she’d had that thought, even if it had been less and less, lately. Her whole entire life was pretty fucking weird, so she was beginning to lose touch with what was and wasn’t normal.</p><p>But reading a published novel about her pseudo-dads—one of which was an angel possessing her bio-dad’s corpse—and their very real experiences… Yeah, she knew for sure that was pretty fucking weird.</p><p>Discovering the Carver Edlund series had been a complete and totally embarrassing accident. </p><p>She was on a pretty simple salt’n’burn one state over, in Minnesota. A small house in the suburbs, painted an ugly green. Looking so young, Claire had a harder time posing at FBI, so she had to resort to snooping and talking to locals. Specifically, she had an in with the teens around her age, more willing to gossip.</p><p>Long story short, she asked all the right questions to all the wrong people… And when an 18 year-old boy, Josh, looked at her funny and asked if she was one of those Supernatural fangirls, she heard the Dial-Up noise somewhere in her head as her brain tried to catch up. “What?”</p><p>“The Carver Edlund books,” he said, pulling out his phone. “The brothers that go hunt monsters?” He wasn't looking at her, instead he typed on his phone. Not in a rude way, but clearly trying to pull something up for her. “My sister is obsessed with them. You sure you haven’t heard of it?” </p><p>She took the proffered phone from Josh. “Um.” Pulled up on the screen was a quick google search. “Suprnatural boook” was written in the top search bar, below it, it read “<em> Did you mean: </em> <b> <em>supernatural book</em> </b>” </p><p>“Thought you were a Dean stan based on, well…” He waved his hand. “Your... everything.”</p><p>Hold up. <em> Dean </em>?</p><p>“Wait. What?” On the screen it showed images of various book covers, all very poorly edited. “What do you mean ‘Dean’?” Not <em> her </em> Dean, that was just a coincidence.</p><p>“Uh, Dean from the book. One of the brothers, the other is Sam? And there’s an angel, too. Castiel… or something.” <em> What the fuck </em>.</p><p>She inspected the images again. The two men on the front looked kind of like Sam and Dean, if you squinted. If you described them to an amateur sketch artist this would be what you’d get. All you needed was two white men in flannel and there you go.</p><p>Okay, but again, <em> what the fuck </em> . “You seem to know a lot about it. Are you sure you’re not a fan?” <em> Deflect. Deflect. Deflect </em>. She pretended to ignore the warm fuzzies that were slowly creeping up after being compared to Dean. She was going to take that comparison to her fucking grave. Handing the phone back, she said, “Listen, I just like local ghost stories, so if you don’t  have any I’ll be on my way.”</p><p> </p><p>Fast forward to Claire staying up all night researching the series. She found them all online and yeah. While she did get some perspective about Sam and Dean, she was a little scarred when she stumbled on some sex scenes. She had to research what chapters to skip over because she was <em> never </em> doing that again.</p><p>After adding another point to the childhood-trauma board, she realized she had great blackmail material for the boys. But more importantly, she realized she needed to have a very important conversation with Cas. Hopelessly in love and clueless Cas. </p><p>+++</p><p>“I don’t understand why this is important.” Cas spoke as he flipped quickly through one of the many Supernatural books splayed out, with the map of the table peeking through. “I was there for many of these experiences. What is the purpose of reading through them?”</p><p>Claire found the series at a secondhand book store. Well, multiple secondhand books stores. She pieced together the collection, accidentally buying one book twice. ”Because you’ve been with Dean for over a decade, and it’s getting ridiculous.”</p><p>Reading about her angel-possessed-corpse dad (Cas hated when she called him that) and her weird pseudo-murder-dad (Dean also hated this) flirting was almost unbearable, but not as bad as witnessing it live. And after realizing that both parties were utterly oblivious, she decided to meddle, so she wouldn’t have to witness the pining anymore. Just for that reason. Not that she cared if they were happy and sappy and in love.</p><p>So she had Kaia taped scrap paper over all the sex scenes. Then she stole sticky notes and highlighters from Jody and booked it to Kansas. </p><p>She flipped open the book to a marked page and began reading out loud. “<em> Well, Cas, not for nothing. But the last person who looked at me like that… I got laid </em>.” She dramatically gagged then pointedly looked at Cas.</p><p>“Dean said that to me.” He squinted and turned his head. “What is your point.”</p><p>She uncapped a pink highlighter and dragged it across the phrase in the book. She could hear the cries of book lovers in the distance, but this wasn’t casual reading. This was class, and <em> Supernatural </em> was the textbook. How to Know Your Crush is Flirting with You 101 with Professor Claire.</p><p>“My point” she slid the book over and highlighted <em> Dean winked </em>, “is that he wants to get in your pants.”</p><p>“Claire, that was years ago. And he didn’t mean anything by it.” Cas shifted uncomfortably. It was not often she saw him like this. So human. It caught her off guard every time. </p><p>“Well, I don’t have any books from this year, so you’ll have to bear with me, thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>Claire stabbed her pen down by a paragraph in the book. “He compared you two to Thelma and Louise.” Her eyebrows made friends with her hairline as she stared him down. “Seriously, Cas?”</p><p>“I did not understand the reference at the—”</p><p>She gripped his shoulder. “You know they kissed right? <em> Right</em>?”</p><p>“I am aware now, but I did not make the connection.”</p><p>She gestured to his notes, where Cas had been scribbling frantically. He nodded and scrawled out. <em> Thelma and Louise = Kiss. </em> Underneath, <em> Dean and I = Thelma and Louise = flirting </em>.</p><p>And below that he wrote, <em> Referencing couples is flirting? </em></p><p>He looked at Claire, she nodded. He scratched out the question mark.</p><p>“Okay, next. Bert and Ernie.”</p><p>“Yes, they are gay.” Cas wrote down, <em> Bert and Ernie = gay</em>. “Although he did not compare us to them.”</p><p>“Well, they aren’t technically gay—”</p><p>Cas Scribbled out<em> gay</em>. </p><p>“—But like they are.”</p><p>Cas wrote it down again. <em> Bert and Ernie = </em> <strike> <em> gay </em> </strike> <em> gay </em></p><p>She pushed the highlighted phrase over to him. “And no he didn’t outright compare you two. But he did finish the phrase with, ‘you’re not gonna die a virgin,’ so.” She gestured with her hands. “I’m surprised you didn't get together that night, honestly.”</p><p> </p><p>Claire slammed her hands on the table. “<em> He gave you a mixtape </em>?” She threw the book across the table. “Why am I just now hearing about this? Why isn’t this in the books?”</p><p>“Well it was fairly recent, I don’t think Chuck published the later books.” He pulled it out of his coat pocket and handed it over. “Why?”</p><p>He kept the mixtape in his pocket. Okay, so not unpacking this right now. “Mixtapes are a romantic thing you doofus. Classic flirting move! Especially in the 80s which is where Dean lives mentally.”</p><p>He took the tape back, holding it carefully in his hands. “I see.”</p><p>“Cas, have I proven it enough now? Dean’s been flirting with you for years. He likes you.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Okay? That’s it?” She watched him carefully write out, <em> mixtape = romantic gesture </em>.</p><p>She glanced around the table. Some of the novels were open, pink and yellow highlighter covering the phrases and actions. Pen and pencil filled the columns with words like, “Look!” and “This is very GAY!” Other books had sticky tabs hanging out, color-coordinated. Sam would be proud.</p><p>Cas stared down at the table and the scattered literature. “I am not sure what you would like me to do. I have, in the past, tried to make my intentions clear.” He absently thumbed through the fourth novel, letting all the pages flutter across his thumb. </p><p>“Dean is as dense as you. Staring won’t work.” She held up Cas’s notebook paper. “You have to flirt back. Speak his language.”</p><p>+++</p><p>Claire stayed for dinner. Dean made the best burgers ever, so of course she was staying. She already took a bite out of hers before Dean even sat down. </p><p>“No need to wait for me or anything, it's not like I slaved over dinner or anything.”</p><p>Claire flipped him the finger, mouth full.</p><p>“Whatever. I'll take it as a compliment,” Dean said. He dove into his own meal. Jack followed suit, from where he’d waited patiently for Dean to join them at the table.</p><p>When she was able to speak, she did compliment the meal.</p><p>“Thank you. Cas helped. He’s getting pretty good at cooking.”</p><p>Sam snorted. “You only say that cause you’re the one teaching him. Very humble.” He served himself the side salad that nobody else at the table had touched.</p><p>“You’re just jealous that when I tried to teach you, you sucked.” He took a bite of his own food and spoke. “Cas is a much better student.”</p><p>“Well, we do have quite the connection. I would say we are like Han and Leia.” Cas kept his attention on his meal. He spoke casually, if he was nervous he didn’t show it.</p><p>Claire smacked her palm to her forehead.</p><p>Alright, jumping right in then.</p><p>Dean nearly choked on his food, but saved-face by taking a big and painful gulp. Claire grimaced and gave Cas a thumbs up.</p><p>“Uh sure, Cas.” He finished his beer off, not making contact. “Who’s who in this, uh—” he gestured between them, “—scenario?”</p><p>Sam looked between them. Then at Claire. She shrugged.</p><p>Cas did his little squint that she found kinda adorable. Like a confused puppy. “I would think you would be Han Solo. You’re smart, smug, devilishly handsome. And I have rescued your ass.”</p><p>Dean’s ears were turning an awful shade of red. He pulled another beer out of nowhere.  Claire looked under his chair for a cooler or perhaps more bottles. Nothing. He pulled a beer out of his ass apparently. “Right.”</p><p>“Can I be Luke?” Jack asked excitedly. He looked two seconds away from ditching the table to go grab his lightsaber.</p><p>“Sure, Jack,” Dean smiled. “After dinner though.”</p><p>Jack nodded and returned to his meal.</p><p>Cas looked to Claire, eyes asking for some help. She gestured for him to go on, because why the hell not. They already started this, in the middle of dinner. And it was painful to watch, but for fuck’s sake, she was going to get them together by the end of dinner. </p><p>She made eye-contact with Sam again. This time he gave her the bitch face. Ah. So he caught on. He smiled and shook his head. </p><p>“Very interesting comparison, Cas,” Sam chimed in. He smiled behind his beer. </p><p>Cas nodded. “Thank you, Sam.” He turned to Dean. “What do you think?”</p><p>Dean faked a cough, awkwardly into his fist. “Uh, sure, I guess.”</p><p>Cas looked thoughtfully to the side. “Perhaps, it’s not totally accurate.” He looked back at Dean. “We are Jack and Ennis.”</p><p>Dean spewed his beer everywhere.</p><p>“Hey!” Claire screamed at him. Jack didn’t seem to mind getting assaulted by Dean’s drink.</p><p>Sam busted out laughing, he started to cough.</p><p>Dean continued to sputter, while Cas seemed unaffected, continued to stare Dean down meaningfully. When Sam got himself under control, he said, “That’s quite the comparison, Cas.”</p><p>Dean turned to Sam. “You watched <em> Brokeback Mountain</em>?”</p><p>Jack piped up, “What’s <em> Brokeback Mountain</em>?”</p><p>Claire patted his arm as to say, <em> not right now, Jack </em>.</p><p>Sam smiled, “Yeah, and so did you apparently.”</p><p>“I, uh—well of course I did! It’s a western!”</p><p>“Guys,” Claire interrupted, her eyes flitted over to Cas.</p><p>Dean looked to Cas. And, fuck, he was looking at Dean with sad, hopeful, puppy eyes. Dean better make a move before she’d put a gun to his head.</p><p>But she didn’t have to. Because Dean got the message. “Jack and Ennis, huh?”</p><p>Dean spun his beer nervously on the table.</p><p>Cas tilted his head. “Yes.”</p><p>“Um. Why? I just mean that—”</p><p>“Claire informed me, you like to use references—specifically couples—to flirt.” He pulled out a book from out of his coat pocket. “She showed me evidence from Chuck’s books.”</p><p>Sam busted out laughing again, his side salad forgotten. Jack looked confused, trying to follow along. “Chuck’s books?” Jack asked.</p><p>“Chuck wrote a bunch of novels about our lives and published them,” Sam explained, hesitantly gesturing to the book in Cas’ hand.</p><p>“Can I read them?”</p><p>“No!” Sam and Dean shouted at the same time. Claire was definitely going to slip him the entire series, <em> the censored versions </em>, before she left.</p><p>Dean turned away from Jack back to Cas. “So this,” he gestured to the space between them, “comparing thing, this is you… flirting?”</p><p>If Claire didn’t know any better, she’d say Cas was staring into Dean’s soul. Actually, she didn’t know any better, because he just might be doing exactly that.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Okay,” Dean smiled. </p><p>Cas smiled. </p><p>It was gross.  </p><p>Claire picked up her half eaten burger and stood. “I’m gonna go eat in my room.” Not subtle, but neither of them paid her any attention. She dragged Jack with her. He only protested long enough to grab his own plate.</p><p>Sam caught on. “Uh, yeah I have to go call Eileen, about… something totally off topic. Uh.” He noticed they weren’t even listening. “Yeah, okay bye.” They both made their escape. Claire did not have to look back. The suspicious quiet was evidence enough. She was just glad she didn’t have to read the next part in a book.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p><p>Leave a comment if you wanna be nice to me. And check out my other fics!</p><p>1 comment = -1 point for the childhood trauma board</p></blockquote></div></div>
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